"The Golden Girls" is an awesome show, shut your whore mouth.

I would like to take a little time out of my "busy" work schedule to proclaim my deep and ever-faithful love and devotion for my favorite show about four "ladies of a certain age" sharing cheesecake and scandalous sex stories in Miami. I know it's quite the riddle, but time's up and pencils down, kids. I'm talking about The Golden Girls, quite possibly the greatest television program of all time (in stiff competition with Futurama, The Office and Freaks and Geeks).

I have a big problem with people who want to dismiss this show (ie, almost all of my friends; in spite of being very intelligent people with a lot of common sense, they really drop the ball in this particular situation). I know, hearing about older people's sexual escapades can be... well, it's hard for me to think of a nicer way of saying "icky". Yes, I realize that some of the issues discussed on the show are horribly dated. And yes, I notice how ridiculous their outfits can be sometimes (I'm not blind). But step off! Like many things in life, it is important to look at how these things were viewed and received when they first came out. Four single senior women together and dealing with problems like AIDS, immigration, sexual harassment, gambling addictions, age discrimination, suicide, gay marriage (I could go on and on with controversial subjects breached over the course of the seven seasons)... that's pretty ballsy stuff! The show was great because it showed that older women could live without men and still be independent, informed, classy and social. Well, Blanche sometimes has a tendency to have the opposite of class, but I'll give her a pass because she makes up for it in other instances. Oh yeah, and did I mention that it manages to cover all these issues while being consistently hilarious? Well, it does. Sophia's harsh insults that are excused because of a stroke (which "rendered her totally annoying"), Dorothy's snarky comebacks, Blanche's magical way of steering conversations down a sexual path and Rose's bizarre St. Olaf tales all add up to televised greatness.

Okay okay, the show isn't perfect. As a person who has seen every episode multiple times due to watching it in syndication for over ten years, I can spot the problems. Let me first just say, did anyone hire a fact checker? Seriously GG creators, you really bootched this one. According to various episodes, Rose got married indoors and somehow also got married outdoors in February with a flannel wedding dress. Dorothy's son Michael must have some sort of Benjamin Button thing going on, because he gets younger every time he makes an appearance. How many kids do Blanche and her deceased husband, George, really have? Mysteries of the universe.

So, my final thought is that if you haven't actually seen an episode of The Golden Girls, back the fuck off. I have seriously had roommates who straight up laugh at me when they see me watching it (whether on television or on DVD). I tell them to shut the hell up, and nine times out of ten, if they sit and watch the show for a couple of minutes, they're not laughing at me, but laughing with me. In short, GG4eva!